Hypnosis For Grief: Getting Over The Loss Of A Loved One
You have someone in your life every day. Family member, spouse, friend, or a pet. You depend upon them. And one day, through illness, accident, something unexpected, or the passing of old age, that person is plucked out of your life. It’s devastating. Like a piece of you was just pulled out. The grief is endless. Everywhere you see reminders, and it just opens up the flood gates of pain.
Just when you think you’ve escaped the pain, a song on the radio, a remorseful friend, wanting to console you, gives you a call, a smell. And again, you’re overwhelmed by the Sadness .. there’s happiness too. It causes you to forget who you are, or who you were before the loss. You feel a real hole in your psyche and nothing is able to console you.
THE COMMON ANTI-SOLUTIONS:
You may find temporary comfort in prescribed anti depressants, or food, or drink … and maybe illegal substances. It’s a good try. Because anything that numbs these feelings is better that feeling trapped in that ’emptiness’.
Drugs, alcohol, all temporary solutions. Because when they’ve worn off, you’re back at square one. Unfortunately you may have created a cycle of numbing out the pain, and distracting yourself, and now it’s creating more probems.
Years pass. Time heals all. Or does it. One day, that song comes on the radio, that special photo falls out of a book and touches that raw nerve, and like a tidal wave, all those feelings you had felt you had gotten over, have surfaced again.
THE STAGES OF GRIEF AND LOSS
The simplest definition, if there could be one, would be that ‘grief’ is the time period it takes us to get over someone, to have a sense of normalcy return to your life.
But grief overwhelms you. It continually brings you back to the time when you had that special relationship with that loved one (be it human or animal) when they were still in your life. It takes a long time to let go. Some of us, never truly are able to let go, but we are able to maintain a semblance of sanity, to put on a brave face.
First Step is DENIAL … You can’t believe, accept, or even try to contemplate that individual is gone. You’re searching in familiar places, expecting them to show up. There may be tears, or you may repress the feelings, or try to suppress the emotions with substance. It’s an effort to get through the day and handle day to day activities.
Second Step: ANGER … You ask yourself, “WHY ME”. You have anger for the deceased person for leaving. Especially if, maybe because they took their own life, or hurt themselves through drugs, or not doing what you thought would have given them a fighting chance. Anger is one one of the emotions we release in the work we will do together. Allowing the good experiences, the nurturing experiences, to let you move on. To allow others into your life. To be more accepting.
Third Step: ‘WHAT IF CYCLE’ – making deals with God, the Universe. Praying for this person to come back. Give me that chance Lord … Or … Take my life in exchange ….. It’s a perpetual cycle of ‘What If’ or ‘IF Only’.
Fourth Step: Depression: After all emotional resources have peaked, and you have come into the realization that this person is truly gone, the overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning the loss of the person as well as all personal dreams hopes, and plans you had for your future. .. leaving you what is known as depression, or feeling depressed, which is feeling numbed out, empty inside, a lack of control.
The Final Stage is Acceptance: When you internalize and accept, realize life has to go on. You’re not totally going to let go completely of your loved one, but the feelings are less intense and less frequent. You become ACCEPTING of your loss. In humanistic hypnotherapy process, my recipe, we can speed up the process, and even days after a session, clients report a freedom. Getting back to their goals for the future, having energy again to move forward. It will still take time, but not as long as a mind left out of control, to the mind’s own vices.
The HUMANISTIC APPROACH
I’ll guide you through this process (This is not therapy), these are mind constructs of your own device. In the process, you’ll still be able to remember the loved one, without the attached feelings of hopelessness. Able to remember the happy times, able to deal with the unwanted emotions.